1) Latrell Sprewell (man vs. yacht)

There’s one undeniable fact in this story and it’s that in September 2002, Sprewell somehow broke his right hand aboard his yacht. Accounts diverged wildly from there. According to Sprewell, he slipped and fell on the deck. According to his agent, wave turbulence caused Sprewell to accidentally bang his fist into the wall. According to eyewitnesses, an enraged Sprewell took a swing at someone during a party and missed, punching the wall instead. No matter the cause, Sprewell was kicked out of Knicks training camp, fined $250,000, and found himself embroiled in another media firestorm years after choking P.J. Carlesimo. But Sprewell ultimately missed only the first eight games of the ’02-’03 season and revived his career again a year later, after the Knicks traded him to the Timberwolves. As for the seafaring vessel, it was seized by a bank in 2007 and sold at auction following Sprewell’s bankruptcy. These financial troubles were yet another self-inflicted blow for the dynamic wing, who had turned down a $21 million extension from the Timberwolves in 2005 and never played in the NBA again.

2) Vladamir Radmanovic (man vs. snowboard)

When the Lakers reconvened after the 2007 All-Star break, the coaches, staff, and teammates were shocked to discover Radmanovic nursing a separated shoulder. He claimed it was caused by slipping on ice during a weekend trip to Park City, Utah but that story didn’t last long. The Bosnian forward had already been a disappointment for the Lakers since signing as a free agent ahead of the ’06-’07 season, averaging a career low 6.9 points per game. Matters were only made worse a few days later, when Radmanovic came clean and admitted he had taken a spill snowboarding, an activity that was explicitly prohibited in his contract. You couldn’t be shocked that the man nicknamed “Vlad Rad” had an interest in snowboarding, nor that the man nicknamed “Space Cadet” by his coach was foolishly attempting the extreme sport for the first time. The Lakers could have voided his contract but instead fined Radmanovic $500,000. He missed essentially the rest of the ’06-’07 season but did come back and contribute solid minutes during the Lakers’ 2008 NBA Finals run.

3) Charles Barkley (man vs. concert lighting)

Anyone who’s ever gotten sunscreen in their eyes can relate to this one. On the eve of the ’94-’95 NBA season, Barkley had a night out in Phoenix, catching an Eric Clapton concert. The British guitar virtuoso was on tour promoting his latest album of blues covers and the genre was an appropriate description of Barkley’s mood that evening. Suffering from seasonal allergies and bothered by the stage lights, Barkley spent much of the night rubbing his eyes with lotioned hands. An intense eye burning sensation followed and a trip to the hospital revealed that Barkley had managed to burn a layer off of one of his corneas. This was luckily not too serious but Barkley was ordered by an ophthalmologist to wear eye patches for 24 hours while his corneas recovered. He therefore missed the Suns’ season opener, a 107-89 loss to the Kings with veteran A.C. Green filling in at power forward. Even though his eyes quickly recovered, Barkley wound up sitting out the first 10 games of the season anyway due to a different pre-existing injury, a strained stomach muscle.

4) Andrew Bynum (man vs. bowling)

You can’t say the 76ers didn’t enter with eyes wide open when they traded for Bynum in the summer of 2012, as part of the blockbuster deal that also sent Dwight Howard to the Lakers. Bynum had played in the full slate of games just once in his seven NBA seasons due to various knee injuries, and the Sixers sent him to Germany that September for an experimental arthritis healing procedure. They held Bynum out of training camp and the preseason to allow his knees to rest but an injury happened anyway, one which had nothing to do with basketball. Bynum apparently re-injured his left knee while bowling, causing a bone bruise and severe swelling. The young center claimed that he hadn’t slipped or twisted his knee in any way during the bowling outing, and only realized something was amiss later on, when the swelling began. Bynum never did suit up for the 76ers, missing the entire ’12-’13 season and then signing with the Cavaliers in the subsequent summer. He made appearances in 26 games for the Cavs and Pacers in ’13-’14 but by that point, Bynum’s knees had degenerated so badly that his career couldn’t continue.

5) Jeff Ruland (man vs. luggage cart)

A victim of one of the most star-crossed careers in NBA history, Ruland was shaping up as a feel good story when he made a comeback with the 76ers in 1992. Once named 1st-Team All-Rookie for the Bullets, an All-Star twice, and averaging 18.7 points and 10.8 rebounds per game in his first five seasons, Ruland was also unfortunately injury prone. Major knee surgery in 1986 seemed to spell the end of his career. But thanks to some nifty surgical cartilage repair, Ruland was able to make a comeback six years later, joining the Sixers midway through the ’91-’92 season. Five games into his return, following a road loss to the Celtics, Ruland claimed he was outside the Boston Garden waiting for the team bus to arrive when a careless Celtics employee ran into his leg with a luggage cart. There was seemingly no damage at the time but when Ruland tore his Achilles’ during a game a few days later, he assumed the damage was compounded by the incident. Ruland somehow managed to return to play in 15 more games before retiring again, this time on his own terms. He filed a lawsuit against the Celtics organization over the incident but was unsuccessful. The Garden mystique strikes again?

6) Derrick Rose (man vs. knife)

Speaking of potentially great players whose careers were ruined by injury, you must have known Rose would show up somewhere on this list. A league MVP in 2011 at age 22, Rose was flashing unlimited potential up until suffering an ACL tear in the 2012 playoffs. The dynamic point guard was never the same after that, playing in only 444 out of a potential 984 games over the next 12 seasons, while suffering a series of devastating follow-up injuries. But before any of that, Rose had a rare moment of levity in regards to injurious mishaps. Early in his rookie season with the Bulls, Rose missed a practice after slicing himself cutting an apple with a knife. Seems pretty reasonable and relatable, right? Most of us have been there. But get this: Rose lacerated his arm, not his hand, because he had cut up the apple in bed, left the knife there, then forgot about its presence when he got up from bed and came back. The injury required 10 stitches but apparently wasn’t too serious, as Rose was back in action the next night, finishing with 15 points in a Bulls win over the Knicks.

7) Lionel Simmons (man vs. gamer lifestyle)

A 6’7″ small forward with shooting touch and rebounding aptitude, Simmons won the Naismith Award in his senior year at La Salle and averaged 18.0 points and 8.8 rebounds per game as a rookie for Kings in ’90-’91. But those turned out to be career highs. In fact, Simmons’ stats essentially dropped every season he played, and the trouble seemed to start in December of 1991, when he missed two games due to wrist tendonitis. Turns out, Simmons had developed the condition by obsessively playing a Nintendo Game Boy. First released in 1989, the Game Boy was a portable console that revolutionized handheld gaming and developed quite a following amongst gamers of all ages. Apparently that included Simmons, who shocked the Kings coaches and executives with his admission. Simmons never disclosed exactly what games were keeping his attention, though it’s possibly no coincidence that the first basketball game for Game Boy, NBA All-Star Challenge, had been released earlier in the year. Simmons did not appear as a playable character in that game but instead made his digital debut one year later in Tecmo NBA Basketball.

“Just as he was potentially getting his career back on track in Boston, Ellison shot himself in the foot. Well, rather, he dropped a marble table on his foot”

8) Amare Stoudemire (man vs. glass case)

The “Big Three” Heat era befuddled and frustrated many an opponent. But as far as we know, only one player was annoyed enough to the point that they attempted assault on a glass case. That would be Stoudemire, the overshadowed free agent of the 2010 class, who left the Suns for the Knicks just hours before LeBron James announced his “decision” to sign with Miami. Expectations were high when Carmelo Anthony joined Stoudemire via trade but the ’11-’12 season was a difficult one, with the two superstars struggling to stay healthy and the Knicks slumping to a #7 seed in the playoffs and a first round date with the Heat. After a game two loss in Miami that extended New York’s overall playoff losing streak to 12, Stoudemire’s frustration boiled over in the locker room and he took it out on a fire extinguisher case. But punching a glass box turned out to be a surprisingly bad idea and it created a hectic scene, with paramedics immediately rushing in to triage. Stoudemire ended up with stitches on his hand, his arm in a sling, and no chance of playing in game three of the series. He did manage to return for game four, a Knicks victory to snap the record breaking losing streak and keep the series alive before the Heat put it away in game five.

9) Eric Montross (man vs. baby gate)

Anyone who’s raised kids in the last few decades understands the inverse relationship between child safety and parent safety when the baby gates are installed. The technology has improved some lately, with door latches theoretically easing mom and dad’s traversing. But in Montross’ day, a big, precarious step over the gate was your only real choice and apparently this was a risky proposition even for a 7’0″ pro basketball player. A two-time All-American at North Carolina, Montross was drafted ninth overall by the Celtics in 1994, granted an 11-year contract, and expected to fill in immediately as a replacement for Robert Parish. His rookie season was solid but that turned out to be Montross’ peak. Nine years and six franchises later, he was toiling away for the Raptors when the incident happened late in the ’01-’02 season, causing a broken foot. Montross spent over a year rehabbing and visiting specialists but ultimately was forced to retire due to an injury caused by a seemingly innocuous activity.

10) B.J. Tyler (man vs. ice pack)

Here’s an obscure PSA for you kids: never fall asleep with an ice pack on your body. Consider Tyler your cautionary tale. A speedy point guard with exceptional scoring touch, Tyler was a first round pick of the 76ers in 1994, then was selected by the Raptors in their expansion draft a year later and expected to be Damon Stoudamire’s primary backup. While prepping for training camp, Tyler apparently fell asleep with an ice pack on his ankle and woke up with immense pain and his foot completely numb. Tests found that prolonged exposure to the freezing temperature had caused severe nerve damage, similar to the effects of frostbite. Yes, there’s a reason those ice packs have warning labels. After missing all of ’94-’95, Tyler attempted a comeback the next season but it was quickly obvious in training camp that his explosiveness had been permanently diminished. Even though it cost them $5 million in dead cap money, the Raptors waved Tyler before the season, ending his pro basketball career.

11) Michael Jordan (man vs. cigar cutter)

We’ve had endless books, documentaries, and talking head debates speculating on the how, why, and when of Jordan’s 1999 retirement decision. One facet that’s oft overlooked is that if the megastar had returned, he would have been sidelined for much of the ’98-’99 season. Soon after winning his sixth championship with the Bulls, Jordan suffered an injury to his index finger that required intensive surgery and recovery time. Your first guess may be that he injured it on the golf course, or maybe it was a Goodfellas style retaliation for his supposed gambling debts? No, it was Jordan’s third major vice, smoking, that caused his distress. While on vacation in the Bahamas, Jordan lacerated his finger with a cigar cutter. He was rushed to the hospital for surgical repair, then had a second surgery performed by Bulls physician John Hefferon upon his return home. Hefferon informed Jordan that due to major tendon and nerve damage, he would be sidelined for 6-9 months and likely have his grip affected beyond that timeline. Even with the lockout delay, Jordan would have missed over half the ’98-’99 season and likely been diminished upon his return. According to Jordan, this injury had no effect on his retirement decision, though it did apparently alter his golf game.

12) Pervis Ellison (man vs. moving boxes)
13) Kendrick Perkins (man vs. bed)

When you’ve been labelled as “Out of Service” Pervis for your constant injury woes, the least you could do is not compound it with a household mishap. An NCAA Tournament Most Outstanding Player for Louisville and the #1 overall draft pick in 1989, Ellison was already considered a flop by the time he signed with the Celtics in 1994. Knee injuries had been plaguing him ever since a rookie year with the Kings in which Ellison only appeared in 34 games, leading to teammate Danny Ainge hitting him with the “Out of Service” nickname. Just as he was potentially getting his career back on track in Boston, Ellison shot himself in the foot. Well, rather, he dropped a marble table on his foot, reportedly while helping a friend move. This caused a broken toe, which sidelined Ellison for basically the entire ’96-’97 season, and limited him to just 72 more appearances before retiring. A decade later, another Celtics big man had an unfortunate furniture calamity. When Perkins missed a game early in the ’07-’08 season with a sore toe, Celtics media and the fans rightfully treated it as standard issue, not to be investigated further. But the always outspoken “Perk” gave them a peek into his home life anyway, explaining that he had woken up to find his bed falling apart and in his attempt to fix it, had it fall on his toe. Luckily, this was a far less serious injury than what Ellison suffered, and Perkins was back in action two nights later for a Celtics win over the Bucks.

14) Jay Williams (man vs. motorcycle)

He wasn’t allowed to ride them per his contract with the Bulls, and wasn’t even licensed to drive them in the state of Illinois. But Williams got on a motorcycle anyway, one fateful night soon after his solid rookie NBA season had ended. The resultant crash caused a torn ACL, severed nerves, a broken pelvis, and a finished career. But Williams should consider himself lucky, because he suffered no head or brain injury despite reportedly not wearing a helmet. The former Duke All-American and Naismith Award winner was considered the future of the Bulls franchise but would ultimately never take an NBA court again, ending his career after just one season. He did attempt a comeback in 2006 with his hometown Nets but was waived after three games with their G-League affiliate. Williams soon after became a long-tenured analyst for ESPN, and in 2016 released an autobiography titled Life Is Not an Accident: A Memoir of Reinvention.

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