75) “Mr. Basketball” George Mikan 
74) “Houdini of the Hardwood” Bob Cousy 

As long as there’s been basketball stars, there’s been outlandish nicknames to match. The pro leagues of the ’40s were colored by “Cowboy” Leroy Edwards and “Stretch” Howie Schultz, amongst others. When Mikan came along in the late ’40s and immediately dominated the pro ranks, to the point that rules had to be changed just to even the playing field, his nickname was appropriately succinct and laudatory. The term “Mr. Basketball” originated with a yearly award bestowed on Indiana’s best high school player since 1939, which eventually has spread to all 50 states, including Mikan’s Illinois home. It was also the apt title of Mikan’s definitive biography, which was first published in 2007. In contrast to the laconic Mikan, the elusive and thrilling Cousy received an appropriate labeling as “Houdini of the Hardwood.” It was bestowed on the star point guard during his time at Holy Cross, when his spectacular ball handling and signature behind-the-back passes could certainly seem like black magic to opponents and fans.

73) “Never Nervous” Pervis Ellison

Having a name that rhymes with a descriptor can certainly be a double-edged sword. Case in point is Ellison, whose first name matched up perfectly with the word “nervous,” but that’s certainly not a reputation that a star basketball player would want to cultivate. Thus, Louisville fans began referring to him as “Never Nervous” Pervis during his freshman season, when he led the Cardinals to the 1986 NCAA title. Drafted first overall by the Kings in 1989, Ellison’s pro career was marked by near constant injuries, earning him a less laudable secondary nickname, “Out of Service” Pervis, courtesy of teammate Danny Ainge.

70) Lynbert “Cheese” Johnson

“When you come to Wichita just bring the wine, we already have the Cheese.” So read a game program during Johnson’s time with Wichita State in the late ’70s, when the small forward would often hold his own doing battle with Larry Bird from the conference rival Indiana State. It was actually a bit of a cultural stretch, as Limburger cheese is German but the name Lynbert is Swedish in origin, translating to “lime tree mountain.” Johnson lasted just one season in the NBA, for the Warriors in ’79-’80, after they drafted him in the third round.

69) “AK-47” Andrei Kirilenko 

From “T-Mac” to “J-Kidd” to “CP3” the recent trend of lazily playing off a player’s initials and/or jersey number has easily run its course. At least it did manage to produce one circumstantial moment of greatness with “AK-47.” The Russian Kirilenko actually preferred the jersey #15, which he wore for his national team, but when he joined the Jazz in 2001 it was already claimed by John Amaechi. An observant teammate gave Kirilenko the sage advice to go with #47, to create the nickname based on the longtime standard issue firearm for the Soviet Red Army (in a coincidental twist, Kirilenko was born in the city of Izhevsk, where the AK-47 was originally manufactured). When Kirilenko returned to his native country during the 2011 lockout to sign with CSKA Moscow, he re-adapted the jersey #15 but celebrated his signing by posing with an actual AK-47. 

68) Anfernee “Penny” Hardaway

Growing up in poverty in Memphis, Hardaway was partially raised by his grandmother while his single mother worked multiple jobs to support him. His grandma’s heavy Southern drawl made “pretty” come out like “penny” and thus one of the most famed nicknames of the ’90s was born, with a legacy highlighted by the classic Chris Rock-voiced Lil’ Penny commercials.

67) “Plastic Man” Stacey Augmon

Aside from Shaquille O’Neal and Dwight Howard adopting the Superman moniker, NBA stars have been surprisingly slow in incorporating superheroes into their nicknames. Sure, Aquaman or Ant-Man probably wouldn’t work, but wouldn’t a Hawkeye, Hulk, Spiderman, or Black Panther be cool? The best we’ve got is Augmon, whose elasticity of his arms was a major defensive asset, lending him the name “Plastic Man.” One of the original DC Comics characters from the ’40s, Plastic Man was a criminal who reformed after an accident at a chemical plant rendered him able to bend his body at will. Certainly not the most ideal superhero inspiration for a basketball star, but for now it’s the best one an NBA player has had.

66) “Air Canada” Vince Carter

Speaking of superheroes, the “Half Man Half Amazing” designation given to Vince Carter in his prime always sounded like something out of a comic book. It didn’t exactly roll off the tongue, however, and was really just a cheap facsimile of “Human Highlight Film.” “Vinsanity” was fun as well, but eventually became a derogatory term as his career stalled, so we’ll go with “Air Canada.” Granted, there’s a tinge of regret there too, as Carter eventually scorned, then fled the Canadian fans that had embraced him. But, it’s cool, and the guy could certainly soar, and he has made attempts in the ensuing years to make amends with our northern neighbors.

65) Richard “Rip” Hamilton

Easily the greatest basketball nickname that was also an apt onomatopoeia, but “Rip” surprisingly had nothing to do with Hamilton’s propensity for ripping his smooth jump shoots through the net. The nickname was a hand-me-down from his father, also named Richard, who received it as a baby due to his propensity for ripping diapers.

64) John “Spider” Salley

Salley was certainly a spindly player, using his long arms to harass opposing players, so “Spider” is a solid description of his defensive style. But it was actually an ironic nickname, bestowed on him in his childhood due to his extreme arachnophobia. He has claimed to have eventually overcome that fear of spiders, but the nickname will stick forever. One thing he certainly doesn’t have in common with spiders, however, is diet, as Salley was known for his vegan lifestyle during his basketball career and has since become a prominent advocate for the philosophy.

63) “The Polish Hammer” Marcin Gortat
62) “The Greek Freak” Giannis Antetokounmpo

Born in Lodz to an Olympic medal-winning boxer father and national volleyball team member mother, Gortat was drafted in 2005, joined the NBA in 2007, and first made a splash with the Magic in ’08-’09. Capably backing up Dwight Howard as Orlando made a run to the NBA Finals, Gortat received the “Polish Hammer” nickname from fans for his polished physique and physical style of play. While later playing for the Wizards, he had a hammer that looks similar to Thor’s Mjolnir tattooed on his shoulder in homage to the nickname. Antetokounmpo has similar origins in his nickname that combines his heritage with his imposing physicality, but went much simpler with “Greek Freak.”

61) “Mighty Mouse” Damon Stoudamire

Listed at 5’10” but easily two-to-three inches shorter, Stoudemire was built like a compact wrecking ball and played like one too. Hence, his connection to Mighty Mouse, the pint-sized but burly superhero who first appeared in cartoons in the ’40s and was revived on television in the late ’80s, just as Stoudemire’s prep career was taking off. The longtime Raptors and Blazers point guard even has a Mighty Mouse tattoo on his arm and appeared in a Nike commercial with the anthropomorphic rodent. He later became a mentor to fellow bantam All-Star Isaiah Thomas, who eventually got his own Mighty Mouse tattoo in tribute.

60) Nat “Sweetwater” Clifton 

Having been labelled “Sweetwater” as a kid growing up in Chicago due to his affinity for sugar-filled water (his family couldn’t afford soda), Clifton fit right in when he joined the Harlem Globetrotters in 1947, playing with guys like “Pop” Gates and “Honey” Taylor. Clifton eventually became one of the NBA’s first Black players in 1950 and helped the Knicks reach three straight NBA Finals starting in 1951. But before the league was integrated, “Sweetwater” made his mark spearheading the all-Black Globetrotters to a stunning win over George Mikan and the Lakers in 1948 exhibition game.

59) Robert “Tractor” Traylor
58) Len “Truck” Robinson

It’s a tough choice over which of these is better, as they both perfectly summed up the player in question. Traylor was stamped “Tractor” by a reporter while playing his rough-and-tumble high school ball in Detroit. He went on to a solid career at Michigan in the wake of the Fab Five dissipation but found minimal success in the NBA as his weight ballooned out of control. The farm-related nickname took on a different tone as Traylor more-and-more resembled large livestock. His bad health eventually got the better of him and he passed away from a heart attack at age 34 while playing professionally in Puerto Rico. So we’ll give the nod here to Robinson, not only the original work vehicular-themed nickname, but also as the far superior pro player. He was definitely like a semi under the basket, dominating the boards and banging bodies in the late ’70s and early ’80s for the Jazz, Bullets, and Suns.

57) “The Matrix” Shawn Marion

A great example of where pop culture and basketball can collide, thanks to an astute commentator, giving way to a nickname that works on several levels. TNT analyst Kenny Smith bestowed “The Matrix” on Marion after watching the Suns star block a shot on one end, then bring the basketball coast-to-coast for a swooping dunk (Smith, a self-proclaimed nickname maven, also came up with “Half Man, Half Amazing” for Vince Carter amongst others). The do-it-all player seemed a perfect match for Neo, the jack-of-all-trades, gravity-defying hero of the movie series that was popular at the time. The name takes on the additional meaning of Marion’s propensity for stuffing stat sheets with his scoring, rebounding, passing, and defense. Later in his career, Marion had his right leg tattooed with what he believed to be the Mandarin Chinese letters for “Matrix,” but seemed to receive a random assortment of characters instead.

56) “Dollar” Bill Bradley

Bradley signed the biggest rookie contract in league history with the Knicks in 1967 (four years, $500,000), but the “Dollar” nickname came not for the money he earned so much as the money he saved. Notoriously stingy, Bradley supposedly lived out of a suitcase while attending Princeton and would barely tip restaurant servers even after he struck it rich in the NBA. Some would call that pathological behavior but others obviously saw it as fiscal responsibility and Bradley promulgated that reputation into an 18-year stint as a U.S. Senator from New Jersey, a presidential bid in 2000, and various consultant and board member positions for private companies since. 

55) Robert “Hot Rod” Hundley/John “Hot Rod” Williams
54) Kenny “The Jet” Smith/Chet “The Jet” Walker/”JET” Jason Terry

Some nicknames roll off the tongue so well they can’t help repeating themselves as history. The NBA’s two “Hot Rods” came about the designation in polar opposite fashions. The original “Hot Rod” was Robert Hundley, a combo guard for the Lakers in the early Elgin Baylor era, who picked up the nickname thanks to his showboating style while playing at West Virginia. As for Williams, a smooth power forward who was one of the league’s premier sixth men while playing for the Cavs in the late ’80s and early ’90s, he was designated as “Hot Rod” as an infant, for his inclination to scoot across the floor in his diaper while making car sounds. Unlike the “Hot Rods,” who took separate circuitous routes to their nickname, Kenny Smith and Chet Walker were both called “Jet” simply because of their speed and ability to fly above the rim. While most people know Smith now from his analyst job with TNT, he was once of the NBA’s premier high-flyers, participating in three All-Star Slam Dunk Contests. Walker’s Hall of Fame career ended in 1975, so not only was he too early for the Dunk Contest, he was also sadly much too early for the potentially much cooler nickname “Sky” Walker, as “Star Wars” wasn’t released until 1977. As for Terry, his middle name is Eugene, hence the initials J-E-T.

53) “Machine Gun” Travis Grant

It started as just “The Machine.” As in, Grant was so automatic with his shot while playing at Kentucky State (a Division II HBCU) that he seemed like a well-oiled machine. He rode that consistency to the NCAA all-time scoring title, then later became a high scorer for the San Diego Conquistadors in the ABA, when he was deemed “Machine Gun.” Grant always downplayed the “Machine Gun” nickname, apprehensive over its possible negative connotation as a player who overshoots. Though his pro career lasted just four seasons in the ABA and NBA, “The Machine” is a certified NCAA legend, getting inducted into the College Basketball Hall of Fame in 2009.

52) “The Big Fundamental” Tim Duncan

Shaquille O’Neal was plenty prolific with nicknaming himself in his prime, but his best and most congruous work was bestowed on his biggest rival, Duncan. “Big [Fill in the Blank]” was a real theme across Shaq’s nickname tableau, so “Big Fundamental” almost seems like a zen inevitability in retrospect. Though the unassuming Duncan has likely never used the nickname to describe himself, it’s become a perfect descriptor and rallying cry not just of the elementary power forward, but also his continually dominant and strait-laced Spurs team that won five titles during his career.

51) “The Stifle Tower” Rudy Gobert

Though he was the 18th French-born player to join the NBA when he first suited up for the Jazz as a rookie in ’13-’14, Gobert was the first with the physicality that truly merited an Eiffel Tower comparison. Standing 7’2″ with a wingspan (7’8″) and standing reach (9’7″) that set NBA draft combine records, he was easily comparable to the famous Paris tower that measures at over 1,000 feet and was the tallest man-made structure in the world when it was first constructed in 1889. Living up to the “stifle” portion of his nickname, Gobert has emerged as one of the league’s premier shot blockers, leading the league in the category in ’16-’17 and winning Defensive Player of the Year twice.

50) “The Baby-Faced Assassin” Isiah Thomas

It’s a bit of a mouthful, but “Baby-Faced Assassin” is one of the most traditional nicknames in sports history, starting with welterweight champion Jimmy McLarnin in the late 1920s (the Irish McLarnin was also nicknamed “The Murderous Mick” and “The Jew Beater” if you’re interested in acceptable cultural mores of the time). It was a perfect description of Thomas, with his usually smiling cherubic visage belying his cold-hearted tendency to stab opponents in the back. It could also later be applied to his wanton destruction of the Knicks, the CBA, and Florida International in various coaching and executive roles.

49) “The Big E” Elvin Hayes

It’s hardly the most creative nickname the NBA has ever seen, but there’s something artfully fitting about “Big E.” A beefy 6’9″ and 235 pounds, Hayes was large in stature and large in reputation, having participated in the “Game of the Century” while playing at Houston University, then winning the scoring title as a rookie with the Rockets in ’68-’69 (though he finished second in Rookie of the Year voting to future Bullets teammate Wes Unseld). Rockets and Bullets fans would often just shorten it to “E,” which they would scream exultantly whenever Hayes hit one of his trademark short jumpers, which helped lead Washington to its only title in franchise history, in 1978.

48) Eric “Sleepy” Floyd
47) Lafayette “Fat” Lever

Maybe there’s worse Seven Dwarves sounding names to be associated with an NBA player. “Slow,” we guess. Or “Clumsy.” “Dopey,” maybe? But no NBA player has done worse than “Sleepy” and “Fat” without it being derogatory. Both were given the nicknames early in life. Lever became “Fat” due to a younger sibling who couldn’t manage to pronounce his given name, Lafayette. Belying the moniker, he was actually a svelte, stellar combo guard for the Nuggets, making All-Star appearances in 1988 and 1990. “Sleepy” was designated as such due to his perpetually droopy-looking eyes, but Floyd was anything but somnolent when he torched the Showtime Lakers in the 1987 playoffs, setting a still-standing postseason record with 29 points in a single quarter.

46) “Big Country” Bryant Reeves

It doubled as an apt description of his wide berth but Reeves’ nickname was initially derived as a result of his aw-shucks pastoral upbringing. Having spent almost his whole life in Gans, Oklahoma, with a population of approximately 208 when he left for college, he had never been on an airplane until his first road trip with Oklahoma State. Flying halfway across the country to New York City to play in the Preseason NIT, he was in such awe of the trip that teammates took to calling him “Big Country.” After leading the Cowboys to the 1995 Final Four, Reeves found a new country of residence when he became Vancouver’s first ever draft pick. After retiring in 2001 he returned to Gans, where he now runs a cattle ranch. He was recently the subject of a documentary directed by a Grizzlies fan called “Finding Big Country.”

45) “The Reign Man” Shawn Kemp

Sonics TV announcer Kevin Calabro is usually mistakenly credited with coming up with “Reign Man” but he’s just the one who made it ubiquitous. Calabro got the idea from this terrific poster, designed by John and Tock Costacos, a pair of entrepreneurial brothers from Seattle who built a placard empire so revered that it’s now considered legitimate art. Originally called the “Man-child” after starting in the NBA at just 19, the more clever “Reign Man,” with its evocations of Seattle precipitation, is the one that stuck for Kemp.

44) Wayne “Tree” Rollins

There’s no witty back story behind Rollins’ name, as it’s just an old-fashioned nod to a stellar athletic body. Born Wayne Monty Rollins, he picked up “Tree” while playing in high school at Florida. It was befitting a man who stood 7’1″ and 235 pounds, as was Rollins’ secondary nickname “The Intimidator.” The two monikers collided memorably in a 1983 playoff game when Rollins, then with Atlanta, bit Boston’s Danny Ainge on the finger during an on-court scuffle. The next day the Boston Herald ran the iconic headline “TREE BITES MAN.”

43) “Thunder” Dan Majerle

Now the head coach at Grand Canyon University in Phoenix, fans in the area probably best remember Majerle for his thunderous three-point shooting that helped the Suns reach the 1993 NBA Finals. But it was actually his explosive and strident dunking early in his career that led to the indelible “Thunder Dan” designation. Majerle never competed in the Slam Dunk Contest but he is still part of its lore as the player who tied the blindfold around teammate Cedric Ceballos’ eyes for his infamous no-look dunk in 1992. A three-time All-Star and two-time 2nd-Team All-Defensive honoree, Majerle is one of the more underrated players of his era.

42) “The Rifleman” Chuck Persons

We’ve all observed the inevitability of pop-culture-obsessed Americans allowing character names from TV shows and movies to become so ingrained in the public lexicon that they shift the statistics of baby naming. There’s plenty of Rachels, Chandlers, and Monicas in their early 20s right now that were born to moms obsessed with Friends, and playgrounds across the country are littered with unfortunately named Khaleesis and Danys. In Alabama in 1964, a new mother was a fan of the TV western The Rifleman and its star Chuck Connors, and so she named her son Chuck Connors Person. It would only be later, when Person became one of the NBA’s premier outside shooters, that “The Rifleman” would take on a whole new layer of meaning, especially when he set the NBA record for most three-pointers by a non-starter, in ’94-’95.

41) “The Great Wall of” Yao Ming
40) Dikembe “Mount” Mutombo

Athletes with “wall” or “mountain” related nicknames is nothing new, especially in sports that have specialized defenders or goalies. It lends itself easily to basketball, of course, with the players as tall as they are, and it was ever so appropriate for Mutombo, a shot-blocking mountain of a man. Bonus points are added for the alliterative symmetry as well. As for Ming, he needed some kind of nickname calling back to his Chinese roots. “Chairman Yao” and “Ming Dynasty” were clever, but “Great Wall of” Yao is the one that lingers. Unfortunately for Yao, while his namesake wall has stood strong for over two millennia, his own NBA career lasted just seven years on shaky feet.

39) LeBron “King” James 

It’s lingered as a rumor for years that James actually nicknamed himself “King” in a fit of narcissistic etymology, but as much as his legions of haters would love that to be true, it was actually the media that labelled him as such. It happened before he even reached the NBA, when James was dominating at the prep level at St. Vincent-St. Mary in Akron, Ohio. He certainly lived up to the reputation, winning four MVP awards, being named to 16 All-Star Games and counting, and winning four championships, including one in 2016 for his beloved Cleveland, where he will always remain sports royalty.

38) “The Truth” Paul Pierce

Most people remember that Shaquille O’Neal deemed Tim Duncan as “The Big Fundamental” but Shaq had an even more transcendent nicknaming moment when he first referred to Pierce as “The Truth.” The moment of clarity came after a game late in the ’00-’01 season between O’Neal’s Lakers and Pierce’s Celtics. Though the Lakers were victorious, one of 56 wins that season en route to their second consecutive title, Pierce single-handedly kept the game close with 42 points on an array of tricky shots. During a postgame interview, the Lakers center declared “My name is Shaquille O’Neal and Paul Pierce is the fucking truth. Quote me on that and don’t take nothing out.” Seven years later, Pierce won Finals MVP for leading the Celtics over Kobe Bryant and the Lakers, leading to Shaq’s infamous impromptu rap performance that featured the line “Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes.” 

37) Donald “Slick” Watts

Looking, acting, and sounding like somebody out of central casting for a movie about basketball in the ’70s, Watts was a star point guard for the Sonics through the last half of the decade. He was one of the first players to shave his head as a fashion statement, hence “Slick” in reference to his newly aerodynamic dome. His game was plenty glossy as well, bringing a panache to the court as he regularly finished among the league leaders in assists and steals.

36) “The Big Ticket” Kevin Garnett

Pro basketball has never been an easy sell in Minneapolis. Even in the early ’50s, when George Mikan was a Bunyan-esque hero and his Lakers were dominating the league, fans weren’t exactly turning out in droves, leading to the team relocating to Los Angeles. The NBA gave the city another go in 1989, adding the Timberwolves as an expansion franchise. They sold a lot of tickets in the inaugural season but as the team languished for years in the standings the attendance stalled, then plummeted. A move to New Orleans in 1994 was closer to reality than you might think, before the other league owners nixed it. Then, in 1995, a high school phenom named Garnett came along, forever changing the fortunes of the franchise. Despite being surrounded mostly by sub-par teammates, he singularly dragged the team into postseason relevance, and kept attendance up at the Target Center. Thus he was labelled “The Big Ticket,” which proved true as well when he came to Boston, attendance immediately skyrocketed, and the Celtics won the 2008 NBA title.

35) Harry “The Horse” Gallatin

With no real training regimens, philistine concepts of nutrition, and weary traveling prevalent, NBA stars had a hard time staying on the court consistently in the early days of the league. That context is why it was so amazing when Gallatin played in his 600th consecutive game in 1956. He eventually set the NBA record with 682 straight games played (it would be broken a few years later by Dolph Schayes), and was given the nickname “Horse” as a play off of Lou Gehrig’s “Iron Horse” moniker.

34) James “Big Game” Worthy
33) Robert “Big Shot Rob” Horry

These aren’t exactly the most ingenious nicknames for an NBA star, but they’re as fitting as any on this list. Worthy truly earned his in the 1988 NBA Finals against Detroit when he dominated the series, especially with a triple-double in game seven. Voters named him Finals MVP over Magic Johnson, similar to how Worthy was the Most Outstanding Player of the 1982 NCAA Tournament even though his North Carolina teammate, Michael Jordan, was the breakout star. Horry was never as big a star overall as Worthy, who was 3rd-Team All-NBA twice and an All-Star seven times, but he hit so many clutch shots that he as well have been. His biggest individual honor was being named 2nd-Team All-Rookie, but it’s no coincidence that Horry’s teams made the playoffs in all 16 seasons he played, winning titles in seven of them. 

32) “Kangaroo Kid” Billy Cunningham

There’s no subtext or entendre here. Cunningham could leap with the best of them, and “Kangaroo Kid” only made sense. His exciting nickname matched his dynamic game, and Cunningham was a popular vanguard for the Sixers in the late ’60s and early ’70s, with a two-year respite in the ABA thrown into the mix as well.

31) “The X-Man” Xavier McDaniel

It was the perfect guy in the perfect city at the perfect time. Though Marvel’s X-Men comic first debuted in 1963, it was enjoying a revival in the late ’80s and early ’90s thanks to a popular new set of story lines and an accompanying cult favorite cartoon. The X-Men were cool again, and so was McDaniel, a silky smooth forward that grew up in South Carolina but fit in perfectly with the counterculture Seattle of the era. His iconic poster from the time, where McDaniel is wearing a cut-off jean jacket and clutching a demonic dog, certainly added to the legend, as did the fact that he was the first player in NBA history with a first name that started with the letter “X.”

30) “The Big O” Oscar Robertson

Ok, on paper not any better really than “The Big E” which came in much lower on the list, but bonus points to Robertson for being first. It’s also a more well-worn and readily-earned “Big” name, coming not from Robertson’s stature (though at 6’5″ he was tall for a traditional point guard, especially back in the ’60s) but from the undeniable magnitude of his game. A man who averaged a triple-double for an entire season before anyone even had a term to label them, he was truly ahead of his time and “big” on the court in every respect.

29) “Skywalker” David Thompson

Two cultural phenomenons came of age on the national stage in the early summer of 1977. Former ABA star Thompson finished his maiden NBA season with 1st-Team All-NBA honors, a top 10 MVP voting finish and a playoff appearance with the Nuggets. Meanwhile, on May 25th, “Star Wars: A New Hope” opened to record-setting audiences, and set-off a groundbreaking cult phenomenon that holds strong to this day. Thompson has had less staying power, his career falling apart all too soon with drug use and injuries. But from about 1975 to 1981, Thompson was the “Skywalker,” named as such after Star Wars’ lead character. He was the original breath-taking dunker and above-the-rim maestro, matched probably only by Michael Jordan and Vince Carter since. The nickname was later resurrected for the Knicks’ Kenny Walker when he won the Slam Dunk Contest in 1989, but lost its staying power after his career otherwise fizzled.

28) “The Microwave” Vinnie Johnson
27) “The Glove” Gary Payton

A pair of every day items that found ideal nickname matches in the NBA. We’ve yet to see a “Furnace,” “Car Keys,” or “Sliding Glass Door” but the perfect “Microwave” and “Glove” presented themselves. Johnson earned his for his ability to quickly heat up off the bench (and in turn, heat up his team with a scoring streak) and lore has it that it started based on one game in the 1985 playoffs. In game four of a second round battle against the rival Celtics, he scored 34 points on 16-of-21 scoring off the bench, with almost all of it coming in the second half. Once a starting shooting guard for much of the ’82-’83 season, Johnson spent the rest of the decade redefining the bench scoring role, finishing it by helping the Pistons win back-to-back titles in 1989 and 1990. As for Payton, he was arguably the greatest one-on-one defender ever at the point guard position and his “Glove” nickname was earned back in his third season with the Sonics during the 1993 Western Conference Finals. Payton applied such shut-down pressure on Suns star Kevin Johnson that his cousin told him over the phone that he was holding Johnson “like a glove.” The media got hold of the phrasing and ran with it as Payton spent 17 seasons draping defenders, earning 1st-Team All-Defensive honors nine times.

26) Nate “Tiny” Archibald

“Tiny” was a nickname actually given to Archibald as a child based on his father being referred to as “Big Tiny,” and he eventually owned it as an adult. He set the record for shortest player to ever win a scoring title in the NBA, doing so in ’72-’73 at the height of 6’1″ (Allen Iverson eventually broke the mark). He was also the shortest player included on the NBA’s list of the 50 Greatest Players in 1996, if we’re going by listed height (Bob Cousy and/or Isiah Thomas may have been smaller in actuality). The small-named man proved to have a big game, averaging 25+ points per game in three different seasons and playing in six All-Star Games.

25) Marvin “Bad News” Barnes

When a group of high school kids attempted to rob a city bus in Providence in the late ’60s, Barnes was the only member of the group who was later identifiable. Why? Because he committed the attempted robbery while wearing his letterman jacket, which had his name embroidered on the back. Thus grew the legend of “Bad News” Barnes, which he sometimes attempted to play down (like when he requested to just be called “News”) and other times embraced (especially with his intimidating on-court style). Though Barnes was undoubtedly talented and was named to two ABA All-Star Games, he was never good news for the development of the four different NBA teams he played for, and made zero playoff appearances in his NBA career.

24) John “Hondo” Havlicek

Besides maybe Bob Cousy being lovingly referred to as “Cooz,” none of the early Celtics had really endearing nicknames until Havlicek came along. Refrains of “Hondo!” would ring through Boston Garden as Havlicek helped lead the Celtics to eight championships, making clutch plays in seemingly every game along the way. It came about simply because of his resemblance to John Wayne as the main character in the eponymous 1953 film.

23) Clyde “The Glide” Drexler

Rhyming nicknames can often come off as reductive, but in some cases rise to the level of sublime. Drexler already had a distinctive first name, but it had been claimed years earlier by Walt “Clyde” Frazier, who received it for wearing hats similar to the gangster Clyde Darrow. “Glide” came about in high school and it was simple perfection, capturing his style so thoroughly in just one word. Drexler always seemed to take the scenic route to the basket, gliding into a stylized dunk, whether during games or his five Slam Dunk Contest appearances.

22) “Black Mamba” Kobe Bryant

You typically don’t need a nickname when your parents named you Kobe, after a Philadelphia steakhouse. Plus his dad, known mainly as “Jelly Bean” Bryant from his playing days, already had a monopoly on nicknames in the house. So for years we thought of him just as Kobe and went about our business. But then, at the height of his scandalous years, heading into the ’04-’05 season, Bryant made an announcement. He wanted to be referred to as “Black Mamba,” in reference to the planet’s deadliest snake, which had recently made a memorable appearance in the “Kill Bill” films. It certainly matched the Lakers star’s style at the time, ready to strike from anywhere on the floor at any moment, including for 81 points in one game. It’s typically a cardinal sin to nickname yourself, but like his former teammate Shaquille O’Neal, Bryant actually nailed it with this one.

21) “The Answer” Allen Iverson
20) Earl “The Pearl” Monroe

Basketball has been the ultimate spotlight for black athletes in America for a long time now, but some of them resonate with black communities better than others. The actual reasoning behind Iverson being called “The Answer” is murky. But it took on a life of its own in several respects, not least of which being that Iverson, with his blacktop style of play and tattoo-covered body, was the answer to the conformity and rigidity that the NBA supposedly imposed on its black superstars. “The Answer” also came to embody Iverson always being the response on the court when his team needed a big play. Years earlier, the black community was galvanized by the ascending stardom of New York street legend Earl Monroe. Originally nicknamed “Jesus” because he was simply the truth, that was later modified to “Black Jesus” by the media because, well, of course it was. Eventually he came to be known as Earl “The Pearl” for a game that seemed almost too shiny and smooth to really succeed in the NBA. Not that it stopped Monroe from being a four-time All-Star and starting member of the ’72-’73 champion Knicks.

19) “Chief” Robert Parish

It wasn’t really the resemblance to the character from “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” (portrayed by Native American actor Will Sampson), so much as the stoic nature of Parish that lent itself to this nickname. The physical affinity certainly helped though. Cedric Maxwell supposedly deemed Parish as “Chief” in the early days of the ’80s Celtics dynasty. Like the movie protagonist, Parish was a serene personality who eventually let his actions do the talking. But instead of mercy killing a lobotomized Jack Nicholson, he instead wreaked havoc on opposing defenses with his refined game.

18) “The Mailman” Karl Malone
17) “The Admiral” David Robinson

These two follow in the pro wrestling tradition, where every day occupations morph into larger-than-life characters like Big Boss Man and The Undertaker. Despite the nickname, Robinson wasn’t actually an admiral in the Navy but a lieutenant. But lieutenant, which is a rank used by each branch of the U.S. military lacked specificity, “Admiral” ended up sticking instead. It was apt for a man who exuded professionalism and veneration at all times, on and off the court. Malone wasn’t nicknamed “The Mailman” by Jazz announcer “Hot Rod” Hundley, as is widely believed, but actually picked it up while at Louisiana Tech for his propensity to “always deliver.” Unique and catchy, it did also unfortunately take on a sarcastic tone when Malone eventually become infamous for struggling in the biggest moments in playoff games.

16) Anthony “Spud” Webb

The nickname “Spud” is not only an apropos and memorable one, it also gets bonus points for the continuing mystery of its original intention. According to Webb, it was given to him by a family friend right after he was born, but he’s never delved any further into its reasoning. The word “Spud” eventually became synonymous with plucky, height-challenged determination, especially after Webb won the 1986 Slam Dunk Contest.

15) Shaquille “Diesel” O’Neal

It’s perhaps a little unfair but this placement is taking his full body of nickname work into consideration. There was “Shaq Fu,” “The Big Aristotle,” “Shaq Daddy,” “Dr. Shaq,” “The Big Baryshnikov,” and “Superman,” to name a few. But none compared to his original nickname, “Diesel.” It came about while he was dominating at LSU and encapsulated the image of a gargantuan man with boundless powerful energy.

14) Wilt “The Stilt” Chamberlain

When the year is 1950 and a guy standing 6’10” is entering high school, he’s going to get plenty of nicknames drawing attention to his height. Chamberlain was such a Goliath that his monikers went well beyond the typical throwaways of the time, like “Stretch.” He supposedly bemoaned “Stilt” as it drew unwanted attention to his frame, instead preferring “Big Dipper” which came up in reference to his necessity of dipping his head just to walk through normal doorways. With all due respect to Chamberlain’s wishes, we go with “Stilt” here, as it’s stood the test of time due to its economy and the way it playfully rolls off the tongue.

13) “Downtown” Freddie Brown

The phrase “from downtown” to describe a three-point shot has unclear origins and the true inventor of the term will likely never be properly credited. But we know why it gained popularity in the NBA in the ’80s and it’s mostly thanks to Brown. He had actually received the nickname for his long range shooting at Lincoln High School in Milwaukee and the three-pointer wasn’t added at the NBA level until his ninth season in the league. In the first season that the league added the three-point shot and started tracking its attendant stats, ’79-’80, Brown led all shooters in three-point shooting percentage leading to legendary Sonics play-by-play man Bob Blackburn regularly exclaiming “Brown from downtown!” National announcers Brent Musberger and Marv Albert soon picked up on the term and rose its prominence exponentially from there. 

12) Larry “Legend” Bird

“The Hick From French Lick” certainly gets points for originality, but sometimes you can’t beat something as simple as “Legend.” It’s hard to pinpoint when exactly Bird started getting called “Legend” but it was most likely after the ’83-’84 season, when he won his first MVP, first Finals MVP, and led the Celtics to their second title of the decade. It’s a perfect distillation of him not as one of the greatest and most unique players of all time, but also his legendary force of personality, legendary trash talking, and legendary legacy on Boston sports in general. In 2008 Bird sued the new owners of his former estate in Indiana for rebranding it as the “Legend of French Lick Resort.”

11) “The Human Highlight Film” Dominique Wilkins

Michael Jordan emerged from the ’80s as the all-time greatest dunker before he went on to become the all-time greatest player. But there no one could dunk the ball more explosively than Wilkins and there probably never will be. An absolute force of nature, he would attack the rim with impunity, seemingly economizing every atom in his body towards throwing the ball down. Though his dunking was most renowned during his Dunk Contest victories in 1985 and 1990, it was actually Wilkins’ in-game dunking that really stands the test of the time. Add to that the rise of SportsCenter and other emerging highlight-package shows in the late ’80s, and you wind up with “The Human Highlight Film,” a perfect encapsulation of his career.

10) Hakeem “The Dream” Olajuwon

Whether it’s the “Skyhook” or “Finger Roll,” only the greatest and most unique basketball moves get their own names courtesy of their progenitor. For Olajuwon it was the vaunted “Dream Shake,” a tricky, shape-shifting maneuver that confounded opposing centers for 18 seasons. The Rockets star redefined the concepts of offensive footwork and head fakes in the post so well, that to this day he’s sought after like a low-post guru, giving private lessons to the likes of Dwight Howard, Kobe Bryant, and LeBron James over the years. In 2011, Olajuwon launched his own clothing company called The DR34M, referring to both his nickname and his jersey number.

9) “The Logo” Jerry West

Heading into the ’69-’70 season, the NBA was at a crossroads. The league had expanded by leaps and bounds during the preceding decade, but now Bill Russell had retired, while fellow groundbreaking superstars Wilt Chamberlain, Oscar Robertson, and Elgin Baylor were aging fast. The start-up ABA had poached Rick Barry and Spencer Haywood, and the writing was on the wall that the rival league was an attractive destination for young, dynamic players. So the NBA hired the legendary strategist Alan Siegel to expand their brand. Looking to create a new logo, Siegel supposedly came across this picture of West in a magazine and based the now iconic image on it. To this day the NBA still denies that the figure is actually a silhouette of West, but that didn’t stop the nickname “The Logo” from soon becoming standard parlance when referring to the 1969 Finals MVP. West has actually insinuated in recent years that he would prefer to no longer be the logo, suggesting the NBA replace him with Michael Jordan or LeBron James.

8) “Round Mound of Rebound” Charles Barkley

Whatever Barkley, standing 6’6″, lacked in height, he more than made up for in mass. The ultimate protege of Moses Malone’s rear-out rebounding strategy, Barkley used his annular body to devastating effect as he dominated the boards in the ’80s and ’90s, finishing with a career average of 11.7 rebounds per game, good for 20th in NBA history. Though there’s certainly something alluring about the ironic refinement of his “Sir Charles” title (which is how Right Guard would certainly prefer you reference him), there has never been a nickname in basketball that so fully summarized its owner as much as “Round Mound of Rebound.” Though it’s not the most flattering nickname, it certainly could have been worse for Barkley, who, while playing at Auburn, also garnered nicknames like “Bread Truck” and “The Crisco Kid.”

7) “Pistol” Pete Maravich

It eventually took on several connotations, but the nickname “Pistol” started in high school based on Maravich’s unique shooting motion. Unlike most shooters who begin their fluctuation with the ball chest-level, Maravich would hold the basketball down at his hip, almost like an Old West gunman steadily clutching his hand over a pistol holster. His propensity for shooting early and often during games gave “Pistol” a second meaning as his reputation grew as an audacious gunslinger. During his NBA career he also inspired the term “Showtime” for his flashy style of play, terminology that Magic Johnson would admit to freely copping to describe the ’80s Lakers. After Maravich passed away in 1988, the film “Pistol: The Birth of a Legend” was released, starring Adam Guier as the titular star in his first, and still only, major role.

6) “Dr. Dunkenstein” Darrell Griffith
5) “Chocolate Thunder” Darryl Dawkins
4) “The Iceman” George Gervin
3) “Dr. J” Julius Erving

Just read those four entries above and try to tell us the ’70s weren’t the heyday of basketball nicknames. With black culture taking over the mainstream and the slam dunk rising in popularity, the ensuing ABA and NBA nicknames were like a checklist of idiosyncratic cool. “Dr. Dunkenstein” was handed to Griffith in his youth, a play on the George Clinton alter ego “Dr. Funkenstein,” and his high-flying style lifted Louisville to the 1980 NCAA title. Even before the good doctor there was “Chocolate Thunder,” a nickname bestowed on Dawkins by none other than fellow Philadelphia legend Stevie Wonder. According to Dawkins, “Chocolate Thunder” (which also borrowed heavily from Clinton’s sense of mythology) was born on the Lovetron and had come to Earth to spread his funky lifestyle via planet-shaking dunks. There’s no doubt that Dawkins was one of the premier dunkers of his time, often shattering backboards and nicknaming some of his favorite individual dunks with titles like “Rim Wrecker” and “Yo Mama.” While Griffith and Dawkins both had limited NBA careers due to injury, Erving’s and Gervin’s nom de plumes will live on forever in the Hall of Fame. “Iceman” came about when Gervin first broke out in the ABA, due to his propensity for staying calm under pressure (and supposedly literally never sweating), a skill that was hardened by the multitude of setbacks and failures that littered his prep and early pro career. Bonus points that the Spurs star began referring to himself as “Ice” in the first person during interviews, and even referred to his kids as “Ice Cube” and “Icicle.” Erving picked up the “Doctor” moniker during playground games in his Long Island youth, based on his capacity for slicing defenses with surgical precision. It was simultaneously shortened and expanded to “Dr. J” during his early ABA days with the Virginia Squires (where he was a teammate of Gervin’s and supposedly one of the first people to start calling him “Iceman”), and has lived on in reverence as such ever since.

2) Michael “Air” Jordan
1) Earvin “Magic” Johnson

The perfect nickname is essentially a one-word biography of the person to which it’s attached. Such is the case with two of the six greatest players of all time, Earvin “Magic” Johnson and Michael “Air” Jordan. The difference between the two is negligible, but since this is a list and there has to be a #1, we go with Magic, a name so indelible and encapsulating that it’s taken on a life of its own. Put it this way: though “Air Jordans” have become the most popular basketball shoe in the world, no one would ever just refer to Jordan as “Air.” But all around the globe, every basketball fan still knows him as just “Magic.”